Normally, I like to write about food. Clean eating. Recipe testing and sharing. Paleo substitutions. Ways to make the switch to a PaleoPlus lifestyle. And more food.
If you've read any of my posts, you know I can't help but ramble on about the whys and hows and personal revelations that got me to sit down and write...I write like I talk! But I don't usually bore you with details of my life, because who really cares, right?
We have our own lives and our own stories and people to share them with in person or over the phone or via text or maybe a Facebook post. But I can't seem to help myself on this one.
I have told my friends - the 3 that I consider my dearest friends - one via text, one via voice mail and one in an old-fashioned phone conversations - like, a CALL where we chatted with our voices and not our fingers for a half an hour! And also shared the story with my daughter, who appreciates my stories as much as a 14-year-old can and with the friend who started this pants shopping expedition with me - because, success should be shared!
The point is - and this is my truth, it does not have to be anyone else's truth or story or motivation - buying smaller pants was a Paleo Lifestyle victory for me.
About a month ago I found my "Super Goal Pants" were too big. These are a pair of originally grossly overpriced khakis that I got on super sale clearance during one of my many dieting phases. I think it was in 2002, right after I had my daughter. I couldn't wear them "yet", but they were such nice pants and such a good deal and 'this time I am going to lose the weight'....
And somehow, I have moved them from Phoenix, where I bought them, to Lexington, to the scary apartment here in Fort Worth, to our home to the back shelf of my super-sized suburban closet where they have sat, neatly folder (except for the 6 or 8 times I have dragged them down to try them on to realize they are still too small) for over 10 years. I am guessing I have made a dozen or more donation runs, but I was never able to donate the "Super Goal Pants".
Anyway, I remember when I tried them on after about 4 months on Paleo. They were still too small, but closer. And then they fit (snugly around my middle, but perfectly everywhere else)! And then they were a bit loose, but it was such a high to be trotting around in my "Super Goal Pants" - not that anyone knew they were my SGP's...but I knew! And now they are too big.
Don't get me wrong - I'm never getting rid of them - I've had them almost as long as I've had my children - they are officially a part of the family!
The point is - save a couple of clearance yoga pants I bought so I could go out in public, I have no pants left to pull out of the corners to fit my new frame. And I have a couple of things coming up that even I can't justify clearance yoga pants as appropriate attire. So...
...Time to go shopping...
So I went. I spent the better part of a day pants shopping. Which is amazing! (For those of you who have never had to shop in the plus sizes, you may not be able to fully appreciate the amazing-ness of this, but my choices for almost everything except jewelry and shoes has been limited).
I had no idea what size I would be, so I started 2 sizes down from the last time I bought pants. Too big. So, what the heck, I'll try another size down. Too big! Of course, I have a multitude of issues with my size and weight loss and all that is tied up in my body, but in a pretty loving way - I just have spent years not identifying with my body, because it was so uncooperative. Anyway, I assumed all the clothes in the store had been somehow mis-marked in anticipation of April Fool's Day and went one size lower - and they fit! And there were SO MANY CHOICES! (and yes, I know they weren't mismarked - I just didn't want to tempt fate by getting too excited to finally be lower than my originally dream goal size!)
I found 12 pairs of pants that I liked in that size! TWELVE???? I haven't found that many pairs of pants that I liked in my size in the past 2 years. This was in one store in one morning!
I settled on one really nice pair of black pants. I know - but I like black, it's a start, and I didn't just like these pants - I loved them! I found 2 other pairs that I like a lot - and will probably go back and get, if I can find some time early next week, but this was an accomplishment and an investment and a commitment to the fact that I am never going to go back to my old ways of eating crap.
And as I was driving home - almost giddy from all the selections, I realized I just bought pants in a size that I haven't been able to wear in over 18 years. All from eliminating processed, sugar-laden, potentially inflammatory fake foods for real, clean, healthy proteins, veggies, fruits and healthy fats.
In less than a year's time - I have accomplished something I have worked at off and on for 18 years. And failed at off and on for 18 years. And been frustrated by for 18 years. And given up on off and on for 18 years.
It wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done, but I can honestly say - reward to effort or sacrifice or whatever you call it - I was the best return on investment I've made in myself other than having my children.
And I have the pants to prove it!!!
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