Clean Eating Kick Start, Day 11 - Food Freedom!

I can't (and won't) begin to speak for anyone other than myself, but every time I do a squeaky-clean eat - I celebrate the heck out of Day 11!!!

Day 11 was Liberation Day for me.  The day I believe I broke my addiction to food.

I have been a food addict for as long as I can remember.  I have no idea why.  Maybe because I was never, ever skinny.  Maybe because I was raised by parents who struggled with weight, so food was never just sustenance.  Maybe because I read too many fashion magazines when I was little.  Or maybe it's something more scientific - something to do with the things I am learning as a Paleo convert.  Something to do with sugars and glutens...who knows!?

I can remember finishing a candy bar or accepting a dish of ice cream or having seconds at a buffet when I knew in my head I wasn't hungry.  But I couldn't say no.

I snuck treats - when I was traveling alone or when no one was looking.  I bought 2 small drinks at a fast food restaurant so the drive thru guy would think there were 2 people eating all the food I had ordered instead of just me.  I couldn't have an open jar of frosting or bag of chips without being tempted and anxious about eating MORE.  I mean - the food would scream at me through the cupboard doors and many times, I couldn't shut it out.

And as much as I hated being overweight, I really hated feeling trapped by my food addiction.

Being addicted to food is probably the same as being addicted to heroin or alcohol, but I believe it's thought of differently.  No doubt there is science to back up food addiction as a disease, but even while I was suffering from it - I still thought it was more my weakness.  And I couldn't fix it.

And then I switched to this super-clean, super-strict diet for 30 days (all the while thinking it was to lose a few pounds and then back to my "regular" life) and my relationship with food was changed forever.  On Day 11.

At some point early in the day, I realized (and immediately journal ed) "Today I walked into my kitchen, made coffee and began opening cupboards and the refrigerator...and noticed no anxiety.  I packed the kids lunches without sneaking a bite.  Or a single craving.  I didn't have anxiety as my hands neared the leftover bag of pretzels or the chocolate chips.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself and what I can't have.  At all.  It's such a strange feeling."

I wrote about the new feeling of true hunger and satiety and the awakening of my taste buds.  I made a list of the physical changes I was experiencing - sleeping through the night, zero aches in my feet, hips and lower back after years of joint pain.  I reflected on the enjoyment of grocery shopping - something that used to cause some angst from being around all that food.

I was hooked!  It stopped being about losing a few pounds and became a quest for knowledge and more experiences with healthy eating and a crazy need to tell anyone who would listen about this amazing way of feeding your body.  It took away all those years of feeling like food addiction was my fault.  It was an epiphany (with a small "e").

My husband had his epiphany about Day 14.  My daughter, around Day 18 and my son is still waiting for his!  He enjoys the way he looks, the fact that his skin has cleared up and his new abilities in athletics, but he still gets a little whiny when faced with a team dinner at a pizza buffet!  Ah, youth!

I wonder about others - if you're not a food addict - how does this change you and is the change a forever change.  If you are a food addict and you can't make it to your turning point, what then?  I just wanted to say - there is a light at the end of the clean eating tunnel - a light of newfound health and vitality and maybe even a new, enjoyable, calm, positive relationship with food for you too.